Living with like & liking to love

Dint know how will i have to explain my self .. juggle my head or heart .. still appear just normal to my self & the rest of the world go by .. smiling , giving hi5 to friends .. then look deep into my heart that am loving to like and liking to love .. i look at myself in the mirror just to know how much more will i have to go through this all by myself .. just watching my self burn & hear my tears just to myself .. wanna fight but cannot fight.. just running back & forth .. choked windpipe .. words never want to be spoken. why will life have to be so messed up. its like landing on land of earthquake , seeing the tornado meeting the volcano , but all u wished was to be with you love & and not end up with Like ... I cant tell how am feeling.. its just like a suffocation ... don't know where to run. I was given a chance would have bend my knees at every alter of the planet .. just don't know my own strength.Its a sliced picture of me happy to the world & tearful inside ... every bit of my outer world is so perfect .. no sound of pain but cheers of Happiness .. but where will I go to scream out myself.. waking up everyday to the realization that living with like & liking to love.. down the memory lane i am gonna hate myself for not making up my strength to walk on the way of my dreams.. may be I would have been happy inside out.. but am afraid to take a chance, don't know I have started loving the feeling that wrong is right.. I wonder now that most beautiful & successful people around the world will definitely have a common thread .. unseen to everyone a thin line of sadness clinging to the pictures of happiness be it love or a crazy relationship.. its worth it if not judged on the platter of the world, still good even though its bad, still honest even though called cheating ,still pure passion & feeling even though not called LOVE. all these things wouldn't have happened if life had a way out to make a happier ends to everyone's feelings & smiles to Life too :) ♥