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I am still breathing alive & seeing you walk by me, you just look at me & in the glimpse of eye its like my world comes alive... until your gone out of sight.I look back at myself standing in the midst of the world that say "I" belong there.Its like I have to put on the cloak of the "SELF" that they want to see.I come back to my room & look at the picture of the Crucifix & there comes a thought that sacrifices are so painful.. and tears just falling looking at the picture as if my tears were the rosary of prayers to "THEE".Is it only me going through this feeling alone? is it only me feeling your love so deep? Is it only me wanting to see you so badly when you not around? Only questions but no answer.Sometime even if you have the whole ocean .. its just "One Drop" happiness I need .. I don't need the Ocean.DO you ever got a thought what will you do without me? Its like am taking a Long walk outside & its snowing .. my feet have started to freeze & my is heart beating just for you ... I am really breaking darling don't leave me like this , no strength to walk .. just hold my Hand before its too late .... I ask my Lord humbly why me ? You know its not a very pleasant place to be in at all, not a nice feeling its like being on the crucifix all the time & smiling... its like sometimes you come across people who often tell do remember me .... But I cannot forget the One who never asked. Its like breathing every morning as if I have to live & when night comes weaving my blanket with tears & now even my pillow is understanding to soak it up before it dawns.Its like a face unforgettable in my heart..I asked you for Christmas still waiting ... hahhaha New Year is round the Conner & still waiting,waiting like one Drop of happiness.Once my Muslim friend was fasting & praying during Ramadan .. I asked her if you ask anything will "ALLAH" give me & she answered it depends on you deeds because he looks at your heart & how honest is you prayer, have done anything good ? then i answered I don't know how will "GOD"judge me because all I know is that I honestly Love someone & I have nothing to offer but that I am honest & True heart .. will he still grant my wish & she Said Inshallah to that I said Amem.Sometimes living a picture of happiness is as helpless & useless even though your matured, grown up & Adult.Living this picture everyday is killing yourself slowly... its hurts so bad My God Jesus .. wish you were here & I would bend my knees hold you tight & cry like a baby .. please don't make go through this please...Help me... my Rezo!
