Heartbreaker !

You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back.My heart was taken by you... broken by you... and now it is in pieces because of you.Love is like falling down... in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever.Love is like falling down... in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever.Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet.For a few minutes you made me feel as though I actually meant something to someone,and then nothing at all.We are afraid to care to much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.I wish he meant it when he kissed me cause then I could look back and see someone who loved me but I can only go back and see someone who used me.You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes?Sad isn't it? How no matter what you do or say to me... when you come running back... when you need me again... I'll be here... right here waiting for you, I'll take you back... no questions asked. Sad isn't it?You hurt me more then I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more then you deserve, why am I such a fool?You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself... everything.You wonder why I don't talk to you anymore and please believe me when I say it's not that I don't want to, it's just that everything I want to say I can't tell you anymore.Hold my hand, just one more time, so I can remind myself why it is that I can't get over you.I think its time I let you go... and that is hard to do because part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life.While I was holding on all you did was let go.Sometimes it's better to be alone. No one can hurt you that way.I just wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to have.The worst feeling in the world is knowing you've been used and lied to.Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real. Mad because I don't know how you feel. Upset because we can't make it right. Sad because I need you day and night. Angry because you won't take my hand. Aggravated because you don't understand. Disappointed because we can't be together, but still I'll love you forever.Maybe they are right. Maybe I did get my hopes up too high. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe I am the stupid one for ever thinking that you loved me, but maybe, just maybe, I am tired of being alone.I don't know which is worse, being with someone with a broken heart or being with the person that breaks your hearts.... dats Killing me.You always have an out. An exit strategy to make sure you don't get hurt. You always walk always. You walk away before they can walk away from you.Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I dont have.This time it's over I'm keeping my heart, I'm gonna be strong and not fall apart... it'll get better, I'll no longer cry... in a couple of weeks I won't want to die, I won't want to go back. I'll be able to sleep, it won't hurt so bad and it won't hurt so deep!I would like to thank you, for showing me a part of myself that I have never seen. Yeah we were young and dumb, but it still was fun and I guess these things just tend to fall apart and I hope you feel the same.I know I'm not completely over him. He still crosses my mind several times a day, but with each one of those times, a feeling of contempt also passes through my heart. Maybe if this happens enough, my heart will become completely hardened to him, and I'll get to the point where he doesn't affect me anymore.Walk home drowning these memories in the rain biting my lip to transfer this pain, your gone and I'm still going through withdrawals, next time around I'll build a stronger wall.I'm afraid to give you my all, I'm afraid to love you completely. What if behind your beautiful face and kind words you are just bribing me. Maybe you are just reeling me in until you turn around and drop me. I'd fall so far and never be able to recover, I wish I could see the ending sometimes. I would know if I should hold on to you and keep going or just let it all end before I get up too high.You and me are inevitable, you're all that makes me happy but if you break my heart again, I'll kill you.I've been laying here all night, listening to the rain. Talking to my heart and trying to explain. Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes I do think about you, every now and then.Am I mad at you? That's your main concern after shattering my whole world? Mad for what? Breaking my heart? Or for all the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be betrayed? How about the fact you didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face? Or the way you think it's crazy that I'm crying over it cause to you breaking up is no big deal. Am I mad at you?... no. More like crushed... did I ever really know you?I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mending whole was good as new. What is broken is broken - and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.After a while, you learn the difference between holding a hand, and falling in love. You'll learn kisses don't always mean something. Promises can be broken just as easily as they were made, and as hard as it is to believe, sometimes goodbyes are forever. The hardest thing about knowing you don't love me,is that you spent so much time pretending that you did.If your gonna make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears.How could you make me love you and then not be there to love me back?I'm going to smile like nothings wrong, talk like everythings perfect, act like its just a dream and pretend that he's not hurting me.The truth of the matter is, I still have feelings for you. And no matter how many times I tell myself that I'm better off with out you, a part of me just won't let go.I feel like I am sitting in a room full of people that I love, and you know what, they just don't care that I love them. They don't care whether or not I live or die. To them I'm just another girl, just another stranger. To me, they are my best friends, the only people I have left.I'm gonna smile, because I wanna make you happy, laugh, so you won't see me cry. I'm gonna let you go in style, and even if it kills me, I'm gonna smile.Do I really love him or am I addicted to the pain of wanting something I can't have.No more crying, I can't cry anymore. Don't take my hand this time. Just go please and don't look back, because I know if you did, I'd come running back to you and I can't do that.Do you want to know what my problem is? I will tell you what my problem is, I LOVE YOU I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I love what you look like when you are asleep, I love the sound of your laugh, to hear your voice fills my entire heart with an indescribable feeling. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how when you touch me.Don't stay because you think "it will get better". You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.Relationships are very simple. There are only two things that can happen. You either get married or your break up... Sad rite ...

Me Without You

Dont know how to began,but am so not myslef without you,cant forget the passion and love between us, but why is that we still apart,so near and still not so close,makes my heart sinks, when you dont feel the way I do.I want to look into your eyes and ask if u really Love me.Now am all by myself,u not near me, just in the blanket of my dreams,even my pillow has understood my tears.I love you - those three words have my life in them, only when you say it to me.What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one, But I see both in You. what am I supose to do? Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.I never felt true love until I was with you, and I hope u feel the same.I wish that you to go through the same pain I am going through. No matter how badly your heart is broken, the world does not stop for your grief.I dont know what's stopping you from being"US". Why are you lying to urself.The love we share, the passion we have, the care, the cares & all that feels like love between us is so magical, its like we are made for each other.You seem to not see it, but I can... So I have thought the best way is to be out of all this & take my own Road, untill u miss me & long me so much that you come back running back to me & hug me in your arms, really wanting me forever.... ♥

The Smile of my Sadness

We always ignore the ones who adore us, and adore the ones who ignore us.Cry as I may these tears won’t wash you away.As soon as forever is through, I'll be over you.The hardest to do is waking up without you.I dont know where I am going, dont know whats holding us. I am already into pieces.. just picking them up,but dont know how long will I be able to walk on the road.The times we were happy together are worth the times I cry alone.I hate the stars because I look at the same ones as you do, without you.Our sweetest songs are those that tell of the saddest thoughts. I try to find you every where I go, to shopping, sipping cofee with my friends or just the things you said you liked.. makes me smile.. with my sad face.I hate you and everything we once were.True love will never fade unless it was a lie.If you love me so much, why are you walking away?I wish I saved all the tears I cried for you so I could drown you in them.While I was holding on, all you did was let go.You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now it's in pieces because of you.I hate this feeling, it's one I know all to well, it's a thing called heartbreak and it hurts like hell.I dont miss him, I miss who I thought he was.How do you heal a broken heart?I have no idea where to start because everything I do reminds me of you. How come the one i wanted to share my dreams with
took my dream from me.The sun can have the sky and it wouldnt matter.
The night can have its stars and i woudnt care.Tomorrow can be majestic yet remain empty,for it simply wouldnt matter without you there.I'm sorry for crying over you,because I said I wouldn't.But I didn't promise you that,because I knew it would be a promise,I would never be able to keep.I don't know what to do now that we're apart,I don't know how to live without the other half of my heart.There is nothing sadder in this life than to watch someone you love walk away after they have left you.To watch the distance between your two bodies expand,until there is nothing left but empty space... and silence.You wondered how you'd make it through. I wondered what was wrong with you. Because how could you give your love to someone else, yet share your dreams with me? Sometimes the only thing you're looking for, is the one thing you can't see.I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.If you're going to make me cry, at least be there to wipe away the tears.The pain of having a broken heart is not so much as to kill you, yet not so little as to let you live.I wonder, when you look into my eyes and watch my heart shatter, does it break your heart too, even crack it a little bit?"I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there. I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you're doing, but I can't help it, cause I'm in love with you.Me, I'm scared of everything, I'm scared of who I am, what I saw, what I did, but most of all I am scared of walking out of this room and never feeling for the rest of my life, the way I feel when I'm with you....

Not Goodbye

Now what if I never kiss your lips again
or feel the touch of your sweet embrace.
How would I ever go on?
Without you there?s no place to belong
Well someday love is going to lead you back to me
but till it does.. I'll have an empty heart
So I'll just have to believe
somewhere out there you're thinking of me
Until the day I let you go,
Until we say our next hello
It's not goodbye.
Til I see you again
I'll be right here remembering when
And if time is on our side
there will be no tears to cry on down the road
there is one thing I can't deny
It's not goodbye
You'd think I'd be strong enough to make it through
and rise above when the rain falls down
But its so hard to be strong
when you've been missing somebody so long
It's just a matter of time I'm sure
but time takes time and I can't hold on
so wont you try as hard as you can
to put my broken hearth together again?

Until the day I let you go,
Until we say our next hello
It's not goodbye.
Til I see you again
I'll be right here remembering when
And if time is on our side
there will be no tears to cry on down the road
there is one thing I can't deny
Love u so much .. Hope all our dream come true ....

Missing You badly !

You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back.Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but some how feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.I might not get to see you as often as I'd like, I may not get to hold you in my arms at night, but deep in my heart I know that it's true. No matter what happens... I will always love you.I'm holding on to something that used to be there hoping it will come back, knowing it won't.I want to be with you tonight, tomorrow, and today it can't happen now but it will someday.I wish that I could hold you now... I wish that I could touch you now... I wish that I could talk to you... be with you somehow.A lot of people walk in and out of my life, but... you're one of the only ones I ever really wanted to stick around.Just because I moved on doesn't mean I won't be here if you change your mind.Maybe he's doing the same thing as me... maybe he wants so bad to call me, but just won't because I haven't called him... then again, maybe I shouldn't fill myself with false hope that he might just be missing me like I'm missing him.I sit here and wonder if you'll ever understand just how much of me belongs to you.Even now after all this time, you called me and wanted me I'd say "yes! It's about time what took you so damn long!".Missing you isn't the problem, it's wondering if you'll ever come back that's killing me.I miss the talks we used to have, I miss the voice I used to hear... I miss hearing your crazy but cool stories, and above all these... I just miss you!I miss the talks we used to have, I miss the voice I used to hear... I miss hearing your crazy but cool stories, and above all these... I just miss you!I ofter catch myself constantly wondering how you are, sitting alone with my mind set so far, reminiscing about your smile, voice and touch, damn this life... I'm missing you too much!I get this feelings we'll be together again. No straight lines make up my life, all roads have bends. No clear cut beginning's and so far no dead ends.Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I don't have.If some thing happens and you lose me, please don' think that' the end, come and find again.I've been laying here all night, listening to the rain. Talking to my heart and trying to explain. Why sometimes I catch myself wondering what might have been. Yes I do think about you, every now and then.In this weird twisted way, I know you miss me liking you, not because I want to believe it's true, but because you'll never find a girl that can put up with you like I did; you'll never find a girl who will care as much as I did, because no one will waste all there love on someone like you, like I did.If you missed me then I'm sorry I didn't stay away longer, I like being missed.Just the thought of being with you tomorrow is enough to get me through today.It's YOU. You mean everything to me... you are the first thought in my head in the morning when I wake up; my last thought before I go to bed. You smile at me in my dreams... when you are sad, I fell sad, and when I see your true smile, I feel incredible, like there is no other thing around and all I can see is you.The best feeling in the world is to be millions of miles away and still be able to picture his eyes.Sometimes, no matter how much faith we have, we lose people. But you never forget them. And sometimes, it's those memories that give us the strength to go on.I tell you goodnight with tears in my eyes, I wish I was there curled up by your side, Time passes, But not fast enough, I try to be strong. But I'm not that tough, When I feel you embrace it will be all right, But my heart aches for you on this lonely night.When I'm not there... do you think of me? When you're sad and something's bothering you... do you wish I were there to help comfort you? When you've had a long hard day... do you smile knowing that soon you'll be seeing me, and everything will seem better, even if it's just for a moment? When you lay down at night... do you look back and cherish the new memories you've made with me? And when you get up in the morning, does everything inside of you smile, knowing that this will be another day that we'll be together? because that's how I think of you...I can still remember just the way you taste.I want to be in your arms, where you hold me tight and never let me go.Hug me when I'm there, miss me when I'm not, kiss me every day, and love me for all eternity.If home is where the heart is, then wherever you are, that's my home.I wish that you were here or that I were there, or that we were together anywhere!Before I sleep and after I wake up and all the hours in between ... you occupy my mind. So, practically every moment of the day you are in my thoughts. I miss you.When you feel alone, just look at the spaces between your fingers, remember that in those spaces you can see my fingers locked with yours forever.I miss you most when I'm sad. I miss you when I'm lonely. But most of all, I miss you when I'm happy.Sometimes I miss you so much, I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you!Not being able to hold you has got to be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I get to look forward to the next time you are in my arms; your smile only inches away from mine getting closer and closer until at last... our smiles meet. Something that beautiful... that's what keeps me going.I miss the way you used to hug me, I miss the way you used to kiss my lips, but most of all I miss the way you held me and my heart. I miss you...What I have with him is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing him, and the pain I feel from not having him close. It is worth it because he is my one and only. When I picture myself years from now, I see only him. No matter how painful distance can be, not having him in my life would be worse.When I miss you, sometimes I listen to music or look at pictures of you, not to remind me of you but to make me feel as if I'm with you. It makes me forget the distance and capture you. I miss you Baby !!

My Pretty Boy ♥

I lie awake at night
See things in black and white
I only got you inside my mind
You know you have made me blind

I lie awake and pray
That you will look my way
I have all this longing in my heart
I knew it right from the start

Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy you're mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay
Right beside you

I used to write your name
I'll put it in a frame
And sometimes I think I hear you call
Right from my bedroom wall

You stay a little while
And touch me with your smile
And what can I say to make you mine
To reach out for you in time

Oh pretty boy
pretty boy
pretty boy~~
Say you love me too

Oh my pretty pretty boy
I love you
Like I never ever loved no one before you
Pretty pretty boy you're mine
Just tell me you love me too
Oh my pretty pretty boy
I need you
Oh my pretty pretty boy I do
Let me inside
Make me stay, right beside you.

I have no one to read my eyes & Understand
my pain at all,its Just "YOU"
Missing you baby :(

Felt but never said ♥

There are things that are felt,that cant be said..and if i try to ask ..I just cant. Even if you do it for me after I ask you to do then its useless.It hurts deep inside but it doesn't show.. and i stay always tired and torn between the decision, of Should I tell you or .. should I not. I cant tell you to change you whole approach of loving me, or feel possessive about me ,or surprise me once and get me a gift. Fill my eyes with tears of happiness by doing something cute for me, that I don't know about if I can tell you to make the world more beautiful in my eyes and change it. No matter how close you are to me and how, I cant tell you the way I want our life to be, You should know on your own the way I want our like to be. There are times that am Quiet & that I've calmed down, agreed to the things the way you want.. and got used it, But that doesn't mean that you always assume that I have surrender or given up. Sometimes you think that I am bored, but I hide the fact that I am tired of seeing in your eyes "NO LOVE" for me... tired knowing that you don't love me.Don't let me get to a point my love that I wish I wouldn't have spoken.I wish that you Love me & feel the same for me.I didn't come to you longing the whole World,just your Heart...I get sad sometimes but I forgive you. Dont forget my heart is with you no mater eve if you are oceans apart. I will always keep running in & Out of your mind,not just when you will miss me , also when u will be sad, Lonely or need a shoulder to be on. Nobody can find love.. it just comes your way,& when it comes you push it away .. Its the most hurtful thing to do, its like,turning down the blessings from above.I am hoping you will hug me & say everything is alright.. waiting ... Miss you ♥♥

You're in my heart and in my dreams
You're everywhere and so it seems
So many times I've heard that so
Hold back the tears that upset you somehow...
What would I give to see your face?
Nothing's the same without you....

The Cruel You

Its all like you left me alone ....what are you? How cruel are you?That you hurt me.have pity on me,how cruel are you? Why my Love is so easy for you to bring me to tears, u have been best at giving me tears with your words & Action.Why do I accept that You hurt me when my soul is a part of you.May be someday you will know the value of my tears & Love I have for you.And why am I accepting this torment at you hands? If this not Love , my misery is from it & if I am to be blamed .. I cannot say never again.. and this how you want me to live in torment .. than I will . cause you don't care. have you ever put your self in my shoes .. if it really hurts you & realize.. its hurts me too.was this all game for you.. to play with my emotions tell me? why did you do this ? SO all the love care & the tenderness I would see in you is all lost? If i have hurted him what he would do more than this to me?in contrary,I've never taken from him the half of what I've given him
what did he want? to kill me! how can he be relieved when am injured!
he haven't seen affection from anybody but me , he only saw goodness from me
If I died it surely would be so much better than to grow through it, what am goin through.I`m scared if he knows what he meant to me when he leaves.In general , it doesn't make difference now and I'm not a loser because now i know am the winner..The day will soon come and I`ll forget and maybe if I was still with him i would be living regretfully.If it was my fault tell me what was my fault??It`s natural when you really love someone you trust them..Short speech, there`s no point in talking now what`s the use it`s over...he probably organized everything and has already set for his life now and living it and it dosent matter to him what was in his past..On the end, am not going to stop my life because the world is still full of good people..

“Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man’s rib. Not from his feet to be walked on. Not from his head to be superior, but from the side to be equal. Under the arm to be protected, and next to the heart to be loved.”

♦♦♦Rezo - Drop of Happiness ♦♦♦

I am still breathing alive & seeing you walk by me, you just look at me & in the glimpse of eye its like my world comes alive... until your gone out of sight.I look back at myself standing in the midst of the world that say "I" belong there.Its like I have to put on the cloak of the "SELF" that they want to see.I come back to my room & look at the picture of the Crucifix & there comes a thought that sacrifices are so painful.. and tears just falling looking at the picture as if my tears were the rosary of prayers to "THEE".Is it only me going through this feeling alone? is it only me feeling your love so deep? Is it only me wanting to see you so badly when you not around? Only questions but no answer.Sometime even if you have the whole ocean .. its just "One Drop" happiness I need .. I don't need the Ocean.DO you ever got a thought what will you do without me? Its like am taking a Long walk outside & its snowing .. my feet have started to freeze & my is heart beating just for you ... I am really breaking darling don't leave me like this , no strength to walk .. just hold my Hand before its too late .... I ask my Lord humbly why me ? You know its not a very pleasant place to be in at all, not a nice feeling its like being on the crucifix all the time & smiling... its like sometimes you come across people who often tell do remember me .... But I cannot forget the One who never asked. Its like breathing every morning as if I have to live & when night comes weaving my blanket with tears & now even my pillow is understanding to soak it up before it dawns.Its like a face unforgettable in my heart..I asked you for Christmas still waiting ... hahhaha New Year is round the Conner & still waiting,waiting like one Drop of happiness.Once my Muslim friend was fasting & praying during Ramadan .. I asked her if you ask anything will "ALLAH" give me & she answered it depends on you deeds because he looks at your heart & how honest is you prayer, have done anything good ? then i answered I don't know how will "GOD"judge me because all I know is that I honestly Love someone & I have nothing to offer but that I am honest & True heart .. will he still grant my wish & she Said Inshallah to that I said Amem.Sometimes living a picture of happiness is as helpless & useless even though your matured, grown up & Adult.Living this picture everyday is killing yourself slowly... its hurts so bad My God Jesus .. wish you were here & I would bend my knees hold you tight & cry like a baby .. please don't make go through this please...Help me... my Rezo!